He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
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She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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