Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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