All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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