He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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