he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
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Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
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If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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