Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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