The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize