Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
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Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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