They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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