My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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