i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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