Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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