piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
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John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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