the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize