how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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