ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We are all done wearing pants today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize