I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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