i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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