Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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