What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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