you mean i was at the winter classic?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
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Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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