I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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