My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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