Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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