We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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