when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
please come you make the beer taste better
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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