youre lurking in front of me
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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