so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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