I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
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Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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