Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We are all done wearing pants today
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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