Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
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I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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