Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm sobbing to NWA
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize