i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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