She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize