a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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