This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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