they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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