Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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