guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize