does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize