you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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