let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize