Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize