we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
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If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
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