I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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