when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
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Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
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I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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