Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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