Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize