are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
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He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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