Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize